(TMI and mild NSFW warnings)
You know when you feel warm from the inside out? When everything is just “right”? I’m a very happy Connor tonight. It should almost be illegal to be this happy on a Monday.
I’ve had a good week. I like my job, I like having a salary, I like having new clothes, I like that I’m actually going to have free time for the next few weeks, I like me at the moment.
I posted last week about getting back on the diet bandwagon. And it worked. Of course it did. London Connor is a better Connor. When you weigh as much as I do, calorie counting is simple. I am allowed 2,300 calories a day. Most of you reading this would probably gain weight on a diet of 2,300 calories a day. I lose weight eating that much. It’s not hard.
In Overeaters Anonymous, they use the language of alcoholism, so not overeating is referred to as being sober. I know that’s a wrong description, but I understand it. A food binge is all about losing control and burying your feelings in consumption and a food binge definitely gives you a hangover. I haven’t binged once this week. The feeling of lightness, of never feeling overly full or sick from eating and of never avoiding life through eating has been amazing. It’s good to be sober.
It’s been a good week other than that. I went to see another West End musical this week: Book of Mormon. I fell in love with show business yet again. (Here’s something I don’t tell everyone. I’ve named my breasts. The left one is called “Courage”. The right is called “Showbusiness”. Is that weird?)
And Harry Styles released his first solo single and it’s so great to be able to hear Harry interviews again. And Skam started its fourth season of amazingness so I can have all of the FEELINGS again. And Steps made a video for their amazing new single. It really has been an amazing week.
I spent the weekend at two successive parties to celebrate the end of the part-time course I’ve been working on for the last three months. I’m glad the course is over and I get more of my life back. But I did enjoy it. And the weekend was a chance to be sociable with people who were not strange men who I meet on the internet for naughtiness. I drank too much but even after seven pints, I was still tracking my calories. Brand New Connor, you guys.
I went to weigh myself today, a week on. I knew the result would be good. Week one of a diet for someone my size always gives a good number. And I knew I had lost weight. I could feel it in my trousers and in the way my shirts were fitting me.
I lost 15 pounds you guys. Fifteen pounds. That’s over a stone in a week. I’ll be Efron-esque in no time at all.
And tonight, for the first time since I moved to London, I had a gentleman caller back to my new place. It was the guy from the platform of Stratford station, who I wrote about before.
I was worried about bringing a man back to my room. How would he react to the fourteen One Direction pictures on the walls? To the fact that I’ve draped the room with cheap and garish ladies’ scarves (3 for £10 from tourist tat shops) to give the room colour? To the My Little Pony? To the Dan and Phil teddy bears? I reminded him as he came to my door that I was a serious person with a job in management and a PhD before I let him in to witness my aesthetic.
He didn’t care. He was sweet and passionate and romantic and completely besotted with my body. I still can’t quite believe it. It was incredible. He made me feel like I’ve never felt before. I LOVE MY LONDON COMING OF AGE/ADOLESCENCE. I don’t think my flatmate appreciates it quite as much as I do because sound travels quite easily between the two rooms and he heard things he shouldn’t have heard.
My man, and he turned out to be a Frenchman, left after two and a half hours of monkey business and cuddles and passion and cuddles. I’ve never not romanticised Frenchmen. And this guy was worth romanticising. But he’s also a planner. We’ve already decided what we’ll do on our second, third, fourth and fifth dates and we’ve scheduled our next rendezvous on our Google calendars because he’s a planner.
I’m covered from head to toe in stubble burn and I’m happy. Very happy.