So, 2014 will be the year I try drag.
I know that some people are struggling to understand this. I don’t want to be a cross-dresser. I don’t want a sex change. I want to be a queen. I want to create a new persona to inhabit. I want to be me by creating someone new to be. I want a path for my fabulous that my current form won’t accommodate. I want to carve a space for me, a niche of my own in the world. A niche with rhinestones. And glitter.
So, the first decision is to choose a name. The first time I chose a drag name, it was kind of secret. I told one person. I would be Amanda. That gradually grew, so it became Lady Amanda Montenotte. (Montenotte is the poshest part of Cork and the most ladylike placename I know.)
Lady Amanda Montenotte would be known to her friends as Mandy.
But I have never felt enough like an Amanda. Or a Mandy. And then there’s that awful Barry Manilow/Westlife song. I can’t be dealing with people singing that at me all the time.
So, I decided on Lady CoCo Montenotte. That worked.
But it didn’t have magic. I need magic. And nothing in this world is quite as magical as “starlight”, so in the run-up to Christmas, I decided to go for CoCo Starlight. No longer a lady, but a mistress of magic.
And I still love CoCo Starlight.
But there are a lot of CoCos around. And then it occurred to me: “Felony”. It sounds girly, but it’s naughty and illegal. Perfect!
Or Fellony Starlight
Or Fellonee Starlight
Or Phellonee Starlight
Or Phelony Starlight
Or Phelon E. Starlight
I also considered Miss Demeanour Felony. It sounds great, but I don’t think it’s me. I could never be that hip hop.
I think Felony would go well with a German surname. The first one I thought of was Weisenberger. It sounds good: Felony Weisenberger, like a tough, up-and-coming, no-nonsense Wall Street lady lawyer. I googled Weisenberger. Apparently the most famous Weisenberger was a WW2 Wehrmacht officer. Maybe not.
So, for the moment I’m trying on “Felony Starlight”. I’ll let you know if it fits.