27 pounds

The ten-day juice fast is done. And I’ve lost twenty-seven mutha-flippin pounds. That’s one pound away from two stone. In ten days. 

I am now the same weight I was in August 2012, when I started being an Assistant Warden. I have lost all of the weight I gained during crappy 2013. 

I’ve never lost so much in such a short time. And it’s already making a difference. People who knew I was on the juice fast had commented that I looked like I’d lost weight, which is lovely, but yesterday someone who didn’t know anything about it commented on how much weight I’d lost. And that was the best compliment by far. It really shows!

And I’ve lost about an inch and a half around my waist. I CAN BEND OVER AGAIN! I can do up laces again. I can sweep the floor again. I can put washing in the washing machine again. It still makes me pant, but I can do it and I don’t get dizzy or nauseated. 

Bending over rocks. It rocks hard. 

I can think of very few times when ten days has made such a difference to my life. But don’t get me wrong. It was hard. It was very hard. 

It wasn’t the hunger, but I got sick of fruit and vegetables. The following flavours all began to turn my stomach: 1. sweet, 2. earthy, 3. fresh, 4. refreshing, 5. tangy. I used to mask the flavour of spinach or kale with lemon or lime, but then I began to get sick of lemon and lime. On day ten, I even had to pinch my nose when I drank apple juice. 

I pined for preservatives. And e-numbers. And meat. And bread. And anything with bacon and cheese. 

And I got grouchy. I never get grouchy. I get sad, or I get anxious, but I don’t really get grouchy or irritable. I do now. I was prickly, and I could feel myself getting annoyed at people for no good reason. 

And I spent hours thinking about food. I spent three entire nights lying wide awake in bed fantasising about food. A ten-day juice fast would be hard for someone with a normal relationship with food. For me, it was Hell. Especially at night-time. I was haunted by pizza, by lasagne and by chocolate cake. I had actual conversations with pizzas. 

And I decided to cheat so many times. I’d open the Dominos app on my phone to order a pizza. Or I’d walk into a shop to buy a chicken fillet baguette, with taco sauce and cheese, having already scoped out a laneway on which to eat it unobserved. BUT I DIDN’T. Because I don’t want this feeling to end. I love this feeling. I put my hand on my belly and I can feel the difference. I look down and I can see the difference. And my knees don’t ache when I walk (as much). And I can bend over. So I haven’t cheated. 

Today, the fast is over. And phase two starts. Now, I’ll have fruit for breakfast, vegetable soup for lunch and a sensible dinner (no pizza/fast food/dessert). We’ll see how it works. The weightloss will slow. I might even gain weight over the next few days. 

But I’m not going to let this feeling end. 

Step 1: Bending over. Step 2: The catwalk.

Keep your fingers crossed for me. 

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