Why I am 98% adrenaline today

  • I think I’m going to have sex on Wednesday. Maybe. Anyway. It’s been a long time and I’m having a bit of a nervous breakdown.
  • The other person in this potential sex-having incident is a man whose name I don’t even know, who asks me these impossible questions like “What are you into?” and makes sex into this giant exam that I’m bound to fail.
  • I quit my job yesterday.
  • I started teaching a new course tonight and, as always, nearly had a nervous breakdown trying to make a good first impression.
  • I think I might be having sex on Wednesday.
  • One Direction are arriving in Ireland tomorrow and someone is bound to surprise me with tickets to see them. Probably. Maybe.
  • I, once again, walked into being mocked by the Head of School. I think he actually thinks I’m unhinged. I will never get a job in academia.
  • I got feedback back on the article I stayed up all night writing and they want me to do MASSIVE revisions. In fact they reject my entire approach to data and to analysis. It’s such a big re-write I’m amazed they’re accepting it.
  • I completely forgot to collect my Clever Cuisine delivery and so I have no food in the fridge.
  • I didn’t start preparing tomorrow morning’s lecture until 11:30 tonight.
  • I had our Assistant Wardens’ meeting today, which always leaves my overstimulated.
  • During that meeting, I said something that might have been interpreted as racist, even though it was really meant as a condemnation of racist taxi drivers and I’m afraid to clarify it with people in case that only makes it worse. I also made an inappropriate Nazi joke during the meeting, so not only will they think I’m a needy freak who depends on the misplaced affection of drunk nineteen-year-olds for my self-esteem, but they’ll also think that I’m an awful racist. Thank God they’re all a little bit weird too.
  • I think I’m going to have sex on Wednesday.
  • I found out that someone I know thinks he kissed someone who kissed someone in One Direction. This fact has been distracting me all day long.
  • I may have been talking to an undergraduate student loudly about blowjobs when an administrative officer in college came out of her office to shush me.
  • The bank haven’t yet rung me to ask why my February loan repayment didn’t go through. But they will.
  • This day last year, I was late for a disciplinary meeting with the Warden. I’m not 100% sure our relations are any better now.
  • Have I mentioned that I think I’m having sex on Wednesday? It’s been a very, very long time and I am going a little mental.
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