Connor the Red-ish

Note: This started out as a Facebook status update, but was just too long, so I made it into a short blogpost instead.

Why Connor is a Bad Socialist

  1. The most significant and loving relationship in my life so far was with my iPhone 4S, cruelly stolen last June, may it rest in peace. I sometimes visit mobile phone shops just to stroke the iPhone 5. (Not making this up. I genuinely do.)
  2. I love “stuff” in general far too much. 
  3. For example, I spent €140 on a custom-made photo-on-canvas of One Direction dressed as sailors. 
  4. I’m not convinced of the value of work. 
  5. I’m often very doubtful about the value of hard work.
  6. I decided to take one of only two nice leather sofas available in Hall for my sitting room, working on the assumption that as Assistant Warden, I am more entitled to have nice things in my flat than  the humble undergraduates are. 
  7. I got one of the first-year boys to carry this couch to my flat, like I’m some kind of Tsar.
  8. Then I paid him for his labour with Cadbury’s Creme Eggs, like I’m some awful Sugar Daddy Warbucks. 
  9. I find it difficult to take people who describe themselves as “activist-poets” seriously. 
  10. I was really, really annoyed when my bus wasn’t running because of the anti-Austerity protests in town today and was thus inspired to write this. 
PS: I shouldn’t be writing this at all. I have a 5000-word article due on Monday afternoon, and I’m a long, long way off finishing it. 
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