Ready

2013 continues to be awesome.

I have done more focused PhD-related work in the last week than I have at any time since last May. My brain isn’t used to this. Some evenings I come home and I’m too tired for television. Literally. I can’t follow episodes of Friends that I’ve already seen six times.

I hope I find a balance. A way of getting a PhD done that doesn’t involve sinking into incoherent and blithering idiocy.

I’m transcribing interviews that I did last year and it’s like being teleported into another universe. I’m listening to interviews that upset me, and interviews that made me laugh, and interviews that inspired me. (Note: obviously, some parts of them were boring too, but I’m in far too good a mood to mention that. And mentioning it would ruin the poetry of this paragraph, so I’ll hear no more about it.) I’m again struck by the awesome responsibility of recording and analysing the lives of others. And they are amazing lives.

And I’m transported back to where I was when I did those interviews too. This morning, I was transcribing an interview I did the morning after I bawled crying at the JCR elections. I had to transcribe the apology I made for my fly being open. I did the whole interview with my fly gaping open, having ripped my zip leaning over a nun’s desk to open a window. I hasten to add that the nun wasn’t there at the time.

I still wear those jeans today. The nun has since changed desk.

I did another interview on the day of my first date in four years. Those interviews spanned an extraordinary time in my life. As well as the emotions that attend the revelation of another human life, those interviews awaken my own feelings.

I think the reason I have avidly avoided transcribing them for the last six months is that I didn’t want to deal with those feelings.

But it’s 2013 and I’m ready now. I’ve now transcribed more in the last week than I did in the entire six months before that.

And I get up in the mornings, looking forward to going in to college, a big change from the last few months.

And other things are beginning to come together. I still haven’t sorted out a decent diet, and am still eating atrociously, and my finances are a disaster (I went into the bank on Friday to withdraw the last eight euros in my account and to exchange my coppers for cash. And I’m once again in regular contact with the nice people at Bank of Ireland Credit Operations).

But I’m running again. And the students are back in Hall. I have to admit I got a sneaky little thrill up my spine when I arrived back tonight, to find all the lights on, in hundreds of kitchens and the sound of screechy drunk teenagers carrying across the night. We had our first Assistant Wardens’ meeting of the year today and in a burst of 2013-induced enthusiasm, I may have called the Warden “Daddy”.

I’m starting as I mean to go on.

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