So, 2012 is about to end. I can’t say I spent the last day of the year being amazing. I currently have a load of laundry on. I know. Sexy.
Earlier, I had a nap where I dreamed of being pregnant and actually woke up feeling worried about how I’d tell my mother.
At the moment, I have a really sore shoulder/arm. I slept on it and got a crick or pulled a muscle or trapped a nerve or something. I have no idea what is actually wrong with me, but it hurts. I’ve taken painkillers, I’ve done funny stretches, I’ve rubbed in gel, but it’s still sore. I decided to fill a hot water bottle this morning and use it as a heatpack. Unfortunately, I overfilled the bottle and spilled boiling water down my front. So I spent a lot of today sitting topless in front of the telly, with a hot water bottle on my shoulder and a bag of frozen spinach on my tummy, feeling sorry for myself. And now I’m on duty for the night in Hall, tactically avoiding the awfulness that is New Year’s Eve parties.
Anyway, I am feeling good about 2013. I have all kinds of plans. Especially the obvious ones. I’m going to lose weight. I’m starting the couch-to-5K again and I’m going back to swimming lessons. I’m going to work hard on my PhD, I’m going to climb out of the financial pit I’m in, I’m going to get myself published and I’m going to have lots and lots of sex.
But those are not my official resolutions. Because those are the resolutions I always make. Instead, I’m going to make resolutions that will will actually be fun and that I know I’ll keep.
By the end of 2013:
- I will learn all the words of Baby Got Back (I like big butts), because who doesn’t want to know all the words to that.
- I will learn the Saturday Night dance, because I obviously never got closure on the 1990s.
- I will meet and have a conversation with Ireland’s Beyoncé, Linda Martin, winner of the 1992 Eurovision Song Contest.
- I will get Zayn to tweet me back. If he once again leaves Twitter in a rage, then I reserve the right to change this resolution and swap in another member of One Direction.