I bought a cloak on Saturday. I wish I knew why I bought a cloak.
I remember picturing the cloak. It was going to be fabulous. I had this image in my mind of a rich, velvety cloak, maybe orange, maybe turquoise. It was to be lined with something equally colourful and silky. I thought a hood might be nice on it. I also considered a linen cloak in a cheery pastel check, as well as a blue denim cloak or a green leather one. I was going to be the toast of Dublin. A pioneer in winterwear.
I’d wanted a garment I could swish around with ever since I helped shut down a party in Hall two weeks ago. There was a girl on her way out of the party, going clubbing. She had a little stripey mini-skirt. But the back of the skirt was anything but mini. The back of her skirt reached down to the floor. It swished and swooshed.
I want to swish and swoosh!
I looked in a few (ladies’ and men’s) clothes shops on Saturday. Unsurprisingly, none of them stocked cloaks. I vaguely considered researching dressmakers. Then I remembered all my debts and all my bills.
I did not commission a cloak.
Instead, I went to a Fancy Dress shop. I bought a shiny black cloak with an enormous collar. It’s five feet long. It’s the kind of cloak Count Dracula might have worn if he was a fan of polyester.
I tried it on at home. It certainly does swish and swoosh. It is enormous fun to wear.
But what am I going to do with it?
Sure, I’ll wear it for Halloween. But the other 364 days of the year? Do I have the balls to go around town wearing a vampire cloak? Do I want to? Do I want to be that much of a freak? Do I wear my backpack over it or under it? Or am I too old for backpacks anyway? Why the hell shouldn’t I wear a cloak if I want to? True, but do you really want to be “that” guy, the “cloak guy”? Would I become embarrassed within feet of my front door and stuff it in my bag? Would I ever take myself seriously again? Why am I even considering it?
For now, the cloak is hanging up in my wardrobe, between my jackets and my shirts. I’ll take it out on Halloween. I’ll swish and swoosh. I doubt any of you will ever see it again after that.
I definitely won’t be wearing it tonight. Tonight I’m going to a postgraduate LGBT mixer. I’m going to meet me some postgraduate gays, some intellectual homosexuals.
There is a small problem. I won’t know many people there. But two of the few people who I do know that’ll be there are people I don’t really want to meet. One is a guy who used to communicate with me quite frequently on Grindr, the gay “meet-up” app. (I miss Grindr. I miss my iPhone.) He used to send me messages in the middle of the night. I think he was then overcome by guilt in the morning, because when I sent him a message during waking hours, he would ignore the message until about two weeks later when I’d get a drunken message at about 3:00 in the morning. Humph! The other person is one of my flatmates from the summer. I lived with him for three whole months and met him once in all that time because I spent the summer hiding in my bedroom. This should be fine. I’ve made a new start. I should never have to see him ever again. Except he’s EVERYWHERE I go. In the last month, he was at the welcome event on the first night in Hall, where both he and I were speaking, he was at the welcome event for new PhDs in my department, where both he and I were speaking, he was at an event where I was presenting my research on Saturday. And he’s coming tonight. The fates are mocking me!
Anyway, I’m going to go. I’m going to have fun. I’m going to have some academic gay chats.
And tomorrow, I’m going to have a Day of Awesome:
- I don’t have to teach in the morning, so I’m going to have eight hours sleep. That’s an awesome start to any day.
- I’m going back to WeightWatchers, and I’m going to start counting my points again tomorrow. It’s been two weeks, so I’m expecting a fairly bad result, but I’m getting back on the wagon. Keep an eye on tumblr again from tomorrow.
- I’m going to follow up on last week’s raw and honest conversation with my supervisor by printing off and giving him the chapters he’s been asking for. I’m also going to print off this blog and give it to him. It’ll be a big part of my thesis, so he’s going to have to see it sometime. I’m also going to give him honest updates on where I am with everything.
- I’m going to submit my proposal for a one-man play to the University Players.
- I’m going to blog and tell you all how it worked out.