On Monday morning two brown envelopes dropped onto my doormat. Brown envelopes don’t usually contain good news. With much trepidation, I opened the first. It was from the Revenue. I had recently sent off tax returns (a little late) for 2008, 2009 and 2010. This envelope contained the result of my 2009 return. Holy God! I owed €2450. And that was just for 2009. I was expecting to have to pay around €800 per year. This was bad. Very bad. Surely my future lay in debtors’ prison.
I opened the second envelope, my soul heavy, my heart in my mouth and my brain dripping out of my ears. It was for 2008. I’d earned a lot more in 2008 than 2009, so this should have been bad. Wonder of wonders, there was no demand for payment! There was a cheque! For me! For….wait for it…€2900!
So I made a profit on my tax, of over €300! That doesn’t happen! Especially to me. I know I still have to wait on what revenue have to say about 2010, but that won’t be due until the end of October, so I can’t stress about that.
I merrily skipped to the bank. I lodged the cheque. My account balance was nearly €3000! €3000! In MY bank account! I had to wait for 15 minutes before I could withdraw the €2450 to send off to the taxman.
It was 15 minutes of pure Hell. I thought about what I could do with €3000. How many yachts could I buy? How many celebrity friends could I make? How much bling could I deck myself in? I seriously doubted my capacity to withdraw the money to pay my 2009 tax.
But I did it.
I posted off the €2450, and am now tax-compliant again. Angelic, I am. I might never sip cocktails with P Diddy to my yacht, but at least I’m less likely to end up in debtors’ prison.