Twenty-third Weigh-in, Tuesday, 23rd November 2010

Whatever happened to the Sunday weigh-ins? I’m not sure. They’ll be back this week. Anyway, I boldly informed you that I was back on track, and I am – mainly. You’ll be pleased to hear that the porridge is back, and that I’m having my two litres of water a day, that my calorie counting has kicked in again. I’m also moving around a bit again, though calling it exercise would be a bit like calling Brian Cowen Ireland’s Sexiest Man. Though in fairness, Ireland’s Sexiest Man 2010 is Daithí Ó Sé, so our standards can’t be that high.

The weekend wasn’t wonderful, boozed a bit, let my sleeping pattern get out of control and achieved little, but it was but a blip and having had five good days before it, and feeling back on track already, I’m not worried.

I have been doing serious PhDing for the past week, and it is actually really interesting – thank God. I once taught a group of analytical chemistry PhD students in Poland. I hasten to add that I was teaching them English and not chemistry, though we did go through the periodic table together – not one of my more engaging lessons. These chemistry students had had their PhD topics chosen for them by the university. One of them was spending three years of her life studying urine as a result. I vaguely recall her telling me that three quarters of all the water on the planet has at some stage been urine. Another one of these students was studying cabbage. I once proofread an essay of hers that included one of my favourite sentences of all time: “Cabbage juice scavenges free radicals” – I have no idea if this sentence was correct or not, but I left it untouched, as I loved the image of a little Capri-Sun carton of cabbage juice running around a forest engaged in guerilla warfare. All this is by way of saying that my PhD is very interesting so far, but for God’s sake, don’t ask me what I’ve learnt as I have retained nothing, even a fact I underlined this morning, saying to myself “that would be a very interesting titbit to drop into conversation.”

I now have my own desk in Trinity. It’s not made from oak, there is no quill stand and the seat isn’t stuffed with ox-hair. Five hundred years of tradition my arse. It looks a bit like it came from Argos, but it has my name sellotaped to it, so that’s all that matters. I am in a room of a hundred desks, but the building hasn’t been fully finished and only four of the desks have been assigned, so I generally have the place to myself. Pleasingly, the room has been done up in invigorating orange and yellow.

To the weigh-in. It’s been a good week, but not a perfect one. As I say, the weekend was a bit of a write-off and I have to admit that after my evening class in DCU, I discovered a stash of chocolate next to the marketing officer’s desk. Now there were hundreds of bars there, so taking one shouldn’t matter, should it? I should clarify that I wasn’t poking around people’s desks. I was given a load of files that I had to collect from his desk, so I had legitimate business in his cupboard.

Measurements: Fairly samey
Neck: 16.75 inches/42.5 cm – same
Arm: 14.5 inches/36.2 cm – down
Chest:50 inches/127 cm – down
Waist:54 inches/ 136.7 cm – same
Thigh:26.25 inches/66.5 cm – same

Weight: 22 stone (308 lbs/139.75 kgs) Down a pound and a half or three quarters of a kilo.
BMI is 46.8, body fat is 9 stone.

So, a grand start.

Wish me luck! I’m off to bed.

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